DeleatedAltanate Scenes
by Boolia
Summary: These are some of the scenes from my stories that I just thought of, or didn't make it in. Rated K-T. Enjoy!
Deleted/Alternate Story Scenes

The Untold Story of Klaus Hessler

Fussball or Soccer?

I was on the end table and Stan sat on the couch. In his hand was a Pepsi. He opened it and turned on the TV, and started flipping channels.

"What are we going to watch?" I wanted to know.

"Football." Stan answered. "You want to watch with me?" I shrugged.

"Sure, why not?" He settled on a game and set down his remote. Only it wasn't fussball it was soccer.

" _Hey_ , I thought we were going to watch fussball.

"We are." Stan answered.

"No, we're not. This is soccer."

"This is fussball."

"No, it's soccer." Stan looked at me like I had lost it.

"You clearly don't know your sports, fish. This is football."

"I _do_ know, sports. This is clearly soccer."

" _No_ ; this is clearly football. Look," I watched as a player picker up the soccer ball, and ran with it. "Did you see him pick up the ball? Why would they call it football, when oftentimes you use your hands?" I shrugged.

"Don't know, but it's still soccer." He groaned loudly. Francine walked pass. Stan turned to her.

"Francine, tell me what we're watching." Francine glanced at the TV, then back at her husband.

"Football." She replied. She then left.

" _See?_ We're watching football." I shook my head.

"Francine is lovely, but like you, she's wrong. It's soccer." Stan groaned loudly again.

"I'm tired of arguing with you fish. Just shut up and watch." We watched the TV without another word.

When the ads came on, something struck me.

" _Ohhhh!"_ I said. "No wonder why you said this was fussball." Stan looked at me.

"What're you talking about, fish?" He then smiled. "Are you going to say that I was right, and you were wrong?" I looked at him.

"No. I called it soccer because I'm German, like most countries. America is one of the countries that call it football." I could tell that realization hit Stan as well.

" _Oh yeah_ , that's right."

"I guess I better call this 'American Football' in this country."

"Yeah, you better."

"Oh, und also we Germans pronounce it as _fuss_ ball, not football. _Okay_ , enough trivia, back to the game." We watched the rest of the game in peace, minus all the excited cheers we did whenever there was a touchdown for whatever team we were cheering for (I only cheered for the 'wrong' team once. When Stan gave me an awkward look, I started cheering for his team instead).

Vacation to Gimmelstump

I find bad show

I flipped on the TV. They were all in German, so I didn't really understand what they were saying. One show I watched was one where they were being mean to the fish for some reason. Why were they mean to the fish? Through, I didn't understand it; I don't think I wanted to. I could tell that although this show was a cartoon, it was not kid friendly. So, I turned it off. That poor fish reminds me of how Doof's dad is treating him.

Fins and the Legman 2: The Oktoberfest Mystery

Angry man yells at Roger in German

A knock could be heard from the door. Roger stood up, and went to the sleeping fish. He tapped on the glass.

" _Klaus_." No answer. _"Klaus_." The knocks were louder, so Roger had to shout. " _KLAUS_!" Klaus awoke with a start. He looked at him, confused.

"I was sleeping." He said. "What is it?"

"Someone's at our door and is probably German. I need you as my translator, okay?" Klaus groaned. He looked at the clock. It was 1:00 AM.

"Roger, it's one in the morning. I told you that other people were sleeping, and to go to bed."

"The TV kept me up. By the way, a couple of the channels I saw was really inappropriate if kids saw it while channel surfing. I didn't know your Germans could be so _naughty_! It gives me new respect for your country."

"Uh, _thanks_? Now, let's get this over with." Roger heard the knock again.

"Oh, right." He picked up Klaus, and answered the door.

An angry man was on the other side. He argued with Roger in German. Before Roger could respond, the man slammed his door shut, Roger looed down at the fish.

" _Fins_?" He wanted to know. "What did he say?"

"He said that you woke him, his wife, and their kids who they took half an hour to put them to sleep. This is a sign, Roger. Turn off the TV. Go to sleep. We have lots to do tomorrow, and I forbid you to be tired."

"You mean today!" Klaus just glared at him. Roger sighed. " _Fine_!" He walked over to put Klaus back down on the end table. "The Internet people are right. You Germans are angry people." Roger went to his TV, turned it off, and went to bed. He shut off the lights.

" _Goodnight_!"

" _Goodnight!"_ The two closed their eyes, and went to sleep.

Roger and Klaus finds out about poisoning

"So did I." Roger put in after he and Klaus found out about the poisoning. "I thought he was because of alcohol poison, but oh well, live and learn!"

Alcohol poisoning?

" _You know_ ," Roger stated. "He drank alcohol before he died. It could be alcohol poisoning."

"It could be." Klaus agreed. "But, let's not confirm it yet. Let's still go to the kitchen, und see what we can find."

Fins and the Legman 4: The 4th of July Mystery

Bambi Scene Extended

Klaus sniffed.

"That's the saddest scene in the movie!" He said. "Poor Bambi. Too young to be without his mom. It makes you not want to go hunting anymore, because you could kill a baby animal's mother or father." Roger rolled his eyes.

" _Oh, brother_!" Klaus then changed the subject.

"I wasn't going to take those eaglets home."

We Did What!

Doug's Sad 9/11 Story Extended

"My mom was also pregnant with my little sister. I was going to have a little sister, Steve, a little sister. I have foster brothers and foster sisters to play and tease, but because of the terrorists, my life has changed forever at a young age."

9/11 birthdays

"I feel so sorry for Americans who have their birthdays on this day." Bullock stated. "Since 2001, their birthdays were and are forever ruined."

"Plus the young people _born_ on that day." Stan said. "Especially at the same times as the attacks."

My Dad Gave me an Alien

News Complaint

" _Ugh!_ " Roger complained, "First the attacks on the Twin Towers, and the Pentagon, and now this? _Man;_ the news is depressing!"

"Roger," I told him. The attacks on all of the buildings that day were sad. Hundreds of people died."

"I know. But, every time the news is on, they mention people are dead. It's sad. When you have a happy day, it ruins it for you. You can never have a happy day when the news is on telling you depressing news. You're just a kid now, Steve, but when you're an adult, you'll lose your innocence, and learn how cruel the world can be."

And what if I was a traveling alone in one of those planes that got hijacked? My family will be so sad. I don't want to die. I know we have to go sometime, but I'm too young. I want to go when I'm wrinkly and old, and when my parents have both gone before me.

'Fire Drill'

"You remember the fire drill we had before school got out?" I nodded.

"Yeah."

"That was my doing. I pulled the fire alarm." I couldn't believe it.

" _You?"_

"Yeah, and I blamed it on Raymond."

Broken Promise

During the party, Klaus remembered something.

" _Hey!_ " He remembered. "Your father promised me that if I kept Roger's secret, secret."

"And you believed Dad?" Hayley asked. Klaus thought about this.

"Ja. I don't know what I was thinking."

Roger Swears

" _Heck, yeah_!" Roger said. Only he didn't say 'heck.' He said the H word that my mother wouldn't want me to say or write. We all gasped. Roger looked all around.

" _What_?" He wanted to know.

" _Roger_!" Mom scolded. " _Language_!"

" _Relax, Frannie_." Roger assured her. "He's going to hear it more and more, and is likely going to say it when he's older. You can't protect him forever. It's all apart of growing up."

"If I was in the Pokémon universe"

"If I was in the Pokémon universe," I told my family "kids on their tenth birthday will get a Pokémon."

"If I was a Pokémon trainer's mom," Mom said. "I wouldn't let my baby go out in the world, fighting and catching dangerous creatures."

E.T.

The next morning, E.T. was on the TV.

" _Hey_!" Roger piped up. "E.T, just like your dream last night! Want to watch?" I shrugged.

"Sure." So, we sat and watched it.

After the movie, we had a half hour to ill before the taxi. So, we went outside for a walk.

BOOlia's Tales of Horrors: Klausinstein

Steve Rogers

"And you're Captain America." Roger told Steve. "And I'm Roger. And Steve Rogers is Captain America's real name. It's _perfect!"_

Best in Show 

Cosmo shuts up Wanda

All week Timmy has been training Sparky, and all week Wanda has been pestering him to study.

"You need to study, Timmy." She told him.

"Yeah, yeah; I'll study." Timmy promised her. "I just need to train Sparky right now. The show's almost here." Wanda put her fins on her hips, and narrowed her eyes.

"Timmy Turner! I'm sick and tired of you doing this. Honestly, you need to take this seriously. You need school to learn and get smart. Without it…"

" _Yawn_!" Timmy faked. He gave her the 'blah-blah' gesture with his hand. Wanda saw this.

"Are you giving me the 'blah-blah' gesture? You know I don't like that it's rude. _Really, Timmy_ , you are…" Cosmo poofed out of the fishbowl as a fairy.

"I know how to shut her up!" Cosmo poofed away. Seconds later, he poofed back, carrying some of Timmy's books. He put them on the top of the bowl, muting his wife's tirade. Timmy looked at his godfather, confused.

"How'd you do that?" Cosmo was confused.

"Do what?"

"How'd you shut her up like that?"

"Oh, well as I was channel surfing, trying to find a new show for me and Sparky, I fond this happen in a show. This is how the guy shut up his yappy goldfish, I don't know why it worked, but it did. I didn't watch the whole show. It was not for kids."

" _Wow_! I never thought books can be that good."

"Can I watch that show?" Poof asked. "It seems like my kind of show."

"No." Wanda told her son. "No, you may not. Not you, not Timmy. Your father shouldn't have been watching a garbage show such as that."

"No, it's not." Cosmo poofed up a garbage bag. "This is garbage. It's filled with Poof's weeks old diapers, along with other foul, smelly things."

"I bet it's better then 'Where are My Underwear?'" Poof said to his mom.

"That may be." Wanda said. "But there's other shows out there. Like the one with the sponge. That show has talking fishes too." Poof sighed.

"Fine."

"Nothing can be as good as 'Where are My Underwear?'" Cosmo said. " _Nothing!_ "

"Cosmo's right." Sparky said. " _Nothing_!" Wada sighed. Both Poof and Timmy rolled their eyes.

Mein Awful Weekend at Atlantic City

Klaus meets Even at Shelter

When I opened my eyes, I was in some kind of shelter. There were other people with me. I looked up, and saw that my bowl was sitting in a man's lap. I recognized him. He was at the front desk when I checked in yesterday. I looked around and saw the maid, and other people from the hotel. But, where was Benji?

"Are you okay little fella?" The man asked. "It's okay. I know you can talk for some reason, Mr. Heisler."

"W-where's Benji?" I wanted to know. "He said that I could call him if I needed anything." The man then frowned. I frowned as well. _Uh-oh_! I didn't like where this was going.

"I'm afraid Benji didn't make it." _Oh no!_ Poor Benji!

"Oh, I'm so sorry." I said. "I hardly knew Benji, but he seemed to have been a good guy." The man nodded.

"He was. In fact, he was the one who took you out of the hotel room. He died saving your life, you know. I'm sad for his family." He then was confused. "Didn't you know that there was a tornado coming?" I shook my head.

"Sorry, I didn't."

" _Why?_ What were you doing all day? Living under a rock?" I sighed, und told him my story. I felt embarrassed having to tell him this, but I did anyway.

"Oh, that sucks." He told me when I was done. I nodded in agreement. "I'll call the clinic for you."

"Thanks…" I looked at his nametag. "Even." Even smiled. He stood up, placed me on the chair he was sitting on, and went off.

I then realized something. Wait a minute! I didn't feel any pain any more. I got up, and was shocked that I could. I smiled. My back pain was gone!

" _Wait, Even_!" I called to him. Even looked back at me. "My back, it's all better!" Even smiled at me.

"That's nice. Should I still call the clinic?" I was about to tell him that there was no need, when I changed my mind. "Nein. You should still call. Tell me what the doctor says." Even nodded.

"You got it, little fish!" He then went off.

"I'm just mad'

It's a scary place, especially when you're a fish stuck in a hotel, listening to…I'm sorry! I didn't mean to sound redundant. I'm just mad…and scared.

More explanation on Klaus Baudelaire

(Sorry, that was a spoiler alert if you haven't seen the movie, or read the books. It's a series of unfortunate events for this Klaus every day. I don't now if he'd said that in the book because I haven't heard it in a long time. Steve read me some of when he was younger, and I read the rest on my own because he refused)

God Bless the USA

Owen threatens Sasha with Gun

Owen pulled Sasha to him, pointing the gun to her neck. Sasha struggled in fright.

"Don't move!" Owen said. "Or the President's daughter gets it!"

"Let her go, Owen!" Stan said to him. "She's just a little girl! She didn't do anything to you." Owen laughed.

"I know, but her father did! You want her? What are you going to do?"

" _HELP_!" Sasha cried, still struggling. Stan fired his gun. Owen yelled in pain, releasing Sasha, The First Daughter ran off, and the fight between the Smiths and Owen and his minions began.

Stan's Promise to the President

"And I promise I'll vote for you at the upcoming elections." Stan told the President. Barack smiled.

"I'll really appreciate it, Stan." He said. "I'll appreciate that very much."

The Goodbye Aloha

" _Aloha!"_ Klaus said to his family as they were leaving. "Oh, und I'm saying goodbye to you."

"We know, Klaus." Steve said back to him. "We've been to Hawaii." Klaus groaned, as the door closed after his family has left.

The Smiths and Jeff were going to go to a hotel because it was night, then save Sasha.

Ron Weasley

"And it was weird." Steve said. "I met someone there who sounded a lot alike to Ron Weasley from the Harry Potter movies."

"The young one or the older one?" Klaus asked.

"The older one." Steve answered.

What I've Done

"That's my name"

"Come back here you Snot!" Dominic shouted.

"That's my name." Snot said, running. "Don't ware it out!"

Best friend since we were toddlers.

Snot has been my best friend since we were toddlers. (Along with Toshi and Barry) He has always been there for me, and I've been there for him. I've been to his birthdays, and Bar Mitzvah. He's been to my birthdays. We went to movies, theme parks, regular parks, playgrounds, schools, restaurants, sport events, and other stuff. He'll never graduate, and marry. I'll never see his kids, and he'll never see mine. He was just fourteen, and his life ended. It ended all because of me.

Imagining 'No way Out' from Brother Bear

What will I tell his family? I imagined the sad confession song scene in _Brother Bear_. I was Kenai telling Koda, his mom, that I shot his son.

Remembering Sandy Hook

"It just makes me sad just thinking about it." Mom sniffed. "Those poor victims of that elementary school in Connecticut. Who would ever kill little children?"

Love will find a Way

"Love will find a way"

"Like the song 'Love will find a way' from the Lion King II," Jeff told Phillip. "Love will find a way."

Cartoon Mix-ups 5: American Dad of the 31st Century 

Hypnotoad Hypnotizes Klaus

Roger: And we found this show. (Flips to Hypnotoad. Hypntoad fails to hypnotize anybody, except for Klaus, whose eyes becomes swirly. Rest of family is not impressed.

Stan: This is a boring show, Roger.

Roger: I know. (Flips to All my Circuits) Here's a better one. It's a soap with robots.

Stan: (Sees that Klaus is hypnotized) What's wrong with the fish? Why are his eyes all swirly? (Roger shrugs. Stan snaps finger) _Klaus_! (Klaus snaps out of his trance, and looks up at Stan.

Roger: (looks at him) Were you hypnotized, fish?

Klaus: Sorry; I think that show put a spell on me or something. Thanks, Stan.

Roger: Aw, man! Stan, we could've kept Klaus in that trance. He could've been our slave, following our every order without complaints.

A Beautiful Pet Reunion

"Olaf is right!" Said a teary eyed Niblet. "It was the most _beautiful_ pet reunion I ever saw! Like every kid nowadays say oh, the feels!" He burst out crying. "The _FEELS_!"

" _Yup!"_ Squirt spoke with a sniff. "You're right you big doofus." He sniffed again. "It was beautiful all right."

"It was magnificent all right." Strudel agreed.

" _Very_ moving!" Cookie added. Lucky nodded.

"Very moving indeed." He put in.

Troy and Steven Confront Girls

Troy and Steven went up to Dot and McKenna.

"I'm Steven." Steven introduced himself to the girls. "And this is my good friend, Troy. We would like to thank you for your essay on the news. You're a really bright girl."

"Yeah." Troy added. "It really opened our eyes, and we couldn't be any happier."

"No problem!" Dot said. "I'm glad it opened your eyes. ""Are your parents around?"

"No. My friend's Mom drove us here."

"Oh, well they raised a wonderful daughter. I'm sure they're very proud of you. Good day, girls."

" _Good day_!" Troy and Steven then left.

Pet Adoption PCA

Dot: Dogs are people too. They feel sad. They feel happy. They feel mad. We need to respect them. And like us, they want a home.

Dr. Macks: If you have a dog, or any pet a home, spend time with them. Walk them, play with them, rub their bellies, anything to show them you love them, and they'll love you back. Adopt them if you can. If you can't, help them get adopted. Who knows? You might get a furry friend in the process.

Dot: Your dog may not talk like Mr. Chewy McFluffster can, but if they'll agree. Right Mr. Chewy McFluffster? (Lucky barks, and Dot put her arms around him)

Road to Langley Falls

People Change Extended

"They watch TV shows that their parents would've greatly disapproved of when they were younger." Klaus explained. "They still might disapprove of them, but they live with it because they know that their kid is growing, and they can't go back to the time when things were simpler."

Klaus comforts Haley Extended

Klaus pushed his bag by his nose and hit Haley's leg. Haley looked down at him. He smiled. She smiled. This comforted him. She didn't understand how anyone could be mean to someone so nice or so comforting and caring such as Klaus.

Cannibalism

"You know," Klaus told Haley as they were eating. He was eating his fish sticks. "I would love to start my own business selling fish sticks one of these days." Hayley gave him a disgusted look.

"That's cannibalism, Klaus."

"Well, if I'm selling them as a fish, yes, yes it would."

Crane Game

Hayley gasped when she saw Klaus stuck in a crane game.

" _Hayley_!" Klaus cried out, pounding on the glass. "Get me out of here!" But, the glass was soundproof, so she couldn't hear. She ran over to him.

" _Klaus_! How could someone _do_ this to you?!" She got up. "Don't worry; I'll get you out of there." She could use her money, but she didn't want to lose all of them if she didn't get him in one turn. With that, she ran off.

She got back with an employee. They then saw some kids trying to win Klaus in a game.

"My brother is _so_ mean to me!" A little girl cried. "To let me win my birthday present at this stupid crane game. Everybody knows that games like these are rigged, and only wants your money."

The employee patted the little girl on the head as he stood up.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart." He said to him. "I'm sorry about your gift. Free pizzas on me to make up for it." The little girl and her friends all cheered.

'Present for my sister.'

'This fish will make a wonderful present for my baby sister for her birthday." Ryan said.

'It was Roger"

 _But, I'm not a man_. Klaus thought to himself. _I'm a fish_. He pointed a fin at Roger.

"It was Roger!" He lied.

" _What_?!" Roger asked, shocked.

"He did it. Und I'm not lying because I did it, it was Roger all the way!" Stan and Francine glared at Roger, and went and dragged him away.

" _No; no!_ Klaus' lying; _he_ did this, not me. " _NOOOOOOO!_ " Hayley looked down at Klaus.

"What was that for?" She wanted to know. "Why blame Roger?"

"For comeuppance. This is revenge for not picking us up." Hayley sighed.

"You're right, Klaus. Although this isn't right, Roger needs to pay."

" _Oh, yeah_!"

Roger was dusting the walls. Klaus was on the end table in his bowl.

"You missed a spot!" The fish lied.

"No, I didn't!" He pointed a mean finger at him. "Now, you listen, fish. I know what you're doing, and it isn't going to fly! I'm going to…" Stan passed by.

" _Roger_!" He said in a firm voice, and passed.

"I hate you." And with that, the alien resumed on dusting.

"I know." Said a relaxed Klaus putting his fins behind his head. "I know."

An Out of This World Wedding Rescue Adventure

A Valentine's Day Proposal

"I can't believe I got a wedding proposal." Klaus said. "Und on Valentine's Day of all days! This is one of the most romantic days of the year; the other being our future wedding anniversaries."

"But first we have too get married." Clara pointed out.

"Und we will!"

Steve was going to have a girlfriend, Marilyn.

Saving Adie

L'Eggo my Eggo.

It was like the waffle commercial long ago, where the father wanted his daughter's waffle, and the daughter picked him up shook him like a maraca or a baby rattle.


End file.
